


Lightyears Away

by StanHope



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Illustrated, Long-Distance Relationship, Pictures, Some Humor, The Reaper War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-02-22 01:14:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13156050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StanHope/pseuds/StanHope
Summary: Beginning in the midst of the Reaper invasion, the convict-turned-teacher Jack and her man John Shepard go in their separate ways to do their part in the war effort, even if it hurts them both. Their exchange of letters became a drug that keeps their hopes afloat.





	1. Heading Downrange

**Author's Note:**

> This could be read as a series of one-shots, though I do have an over-arching plot in place, kind of. 
> 
> This is my first time getting into fanfiction. And I'm proud that it's about Jack and a paragon-ish John Shepard, as I felt that there was some wasted potential for the pairing in ME3.
> 
> Images created with XNALARA and Photoshop. XNALARA models not created by me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack says her goodbyes to Shepard just before she ships out to the Reaper warfront  
> 

Sept. 05, 2186

The Citadel

Docking Bay D72

"I'll write to you whenever I can..." Jack whispered into Shepard's ear. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, with her armored chest snuggled against his dress uniform. She really wished she hadn’t suit up, but Kahlee insisted that she ought to appear more combat-ready.

His arms slightly tightened around her waist, and he planted a small kiss on her jaw line, saying nothing.    
  
Her eyes glanced briefly at the busy docking platform. Soldiers of different specialties and assignments marched towards their muster stations, waiting to board their respective shuttles. Everything was bathed in the white rays of artificial lighting. She made eye contact with a few of her students, and they quickly looked away. She noted their widening grins and the way their pace quickened towards the support teams.   
  
“I promise..." she continued.  
  
Her umber eyes found their way to his and they kissed each other, slow, and gentle. Her lashes fluttered shut, and her mouth savored his warm taste.

_I'm going to miss this._

With a quick draw of breath, she dug deeper into his mouth, and gave him her all. A low moan rumbled through the back of her throat. She felt his hand grasping her ponytail, pulling her closer to him. His tongue danced around her own, which turned her on even more.  

When she finally paused for breath, she came to stare into those pale blue eyes of his. She’d seen those eyes staring back at her so many times before. But somehow, instead of telling him to fuck off or calling him a perv for staring too much, she froze. The air that pumped back into her lungs only made his eyes clearer, like two gas giants in the night sky. She couldn’t stop staring.

And just like that, she was back onboard the SR2 again, right outside his cabin door. The rest of the crew were busy preparing for the final assault on the Collector base, and he had left his door unlocked.

That was over a year ago, but it only felt like moments had passed.

The thought of dying in combat didn’t bother her. She had accepted death, and every life she'd taken that was trying to take hers only convinced her that she was merely delaying the inevitable. Those Collectors were tough sons of bitches, and they had almost no clue how much more of those bugs were waiting at the other end of the Omega 4 Relay. Her gut told her that it’s going to be a one-way trip.

She had it all planned out in her head; how she would perish fighting hordes of Collectors. She always wanted to go out with a bang, and the Collectors were worthy adversaries.

Instead of death, it was feelings, her fucking feelings that brought her to his door. She couldn’t stop thinking about what he told her over a week before the mission.

“I said I can't fix what happened to you…” he admitted.

“Damn right, you can’t. And unless you want to end up needing fixing yourself, you better leave me the fuck alone!” she growled.

“Alright...but I didn’t say you weren’t worth staying around with anyway.” he said as he slowly backed off.

Her heart had skipped a beat after he said that, and he woke an intense hunger in her. She wanted nothing to do with him for some time, hoping that this strange ache would stop menacing her.

_Staying around with, around with…_

Why would he want to stay around with someone like her?

She silently crept up behind him.  _He’s just like everyone_ ;  _he’ll just toss you aside once he’s done with you._   _The damned Quarian is next, just you wait._ A voice scolded her.

But a part of her, a small part of her wanted to believe that there’s something to get back to after the mission; something that would fill her hungry soul.

“Jack...” he turned slowly towards her.

_Was he expecting me or is he that good at keeping an eye on his back?_

“Shepard…” she said anxiously.

“I wasn’t expecting you...need something?” he calmly asked.

“I was thinking about you and…” she glanced up at his eyes and looked away again.

“Why do you keep pushing?” she asked, her voice was starting to crack. “There’s the Quarian, that bubble butt cheerleader. Heck, even that Justicar Samara if you’re desperate. Why would you want someone like me? I’m a lost cause, Shepard. I got no future with you.” she croaked.

“Jack…” Shepard took a step forward and gently caressed her cheek. It was probably a miracle that she didn’t decide to slap it away. Slowly, he guided her face to look him in the eye.

“You wanna know why? Because I think you’re worth the hurt. There's a fire in you that I can't help but try to get close to. Sure, it would suck to get burned, but I just can't help it. That's the part of your beauty I love the most, Jack. And um...” he paused, looking flustered.  
  
"You have...very wonderful eyes. Drives me insane, to tell you the truth." he said almost breathlessly.

“And for as long as I live, I want to make this work. I want us, to work. So please, give me a chance.”   

She was still staring at those eyes.

“Us?” she whispered to him. The first tear-drop marred her eyeliner, and left a wet black trail down her cheek.  

He held both her hands.

“Yes…” he smiled weakly.

He kissed them both

“Us…”

It wasn’t until later, as she and the crew charged the Collectors that she realized how much she wanted to live.

No longer did she listen to Subject Zero. Zero was bred to maim and kill without hesitation, or die trying. That part of her wanted nothing more than to strangle the life out of this other pretender named Jack.

And for the first time in her life, Jack felt what it meant to watch each other’s backs. Every time she felt her barriers go weak from the onslaught of Seeker swarms, she glanced to see Shepard picking off drone after drone trying to target her. His face was rippling with sweat, and when their eyes graced each other, she focused in holding on a little longer.

She would go through that hellhole alive, she promised herself. And she’d be damned if she lets anything else happen to herself and Shepard.

Now, with those same blue orbs staring back at her once again, she’s now sure that it’s her favorite pair in the universe.

 _And that was my best mistake._ She thought serenely.  
  
There was one more mistake she was willing to make, one that she whispered to him when he wasn't listening. She thought her actions alone would scream loud enough, but the words stabbed and twisted inside of her. The more she whispered, the louder it rang inside her head. And she couldn't take it anymore. 

  
_I'm ready._  
  
"Love you..." she mumbled clumsily.   
  
The words gushed out of her mouth like water. She could see his eyes starting to widen. It felt so wrong, and yet...  
  
"I...love you..." she tries again. She found her voice this time.

Saying those three words, three words that would've disgusted Subject Zero to no end, made her head woozy. But saying it here, with him, while the galaxy is in peril, somehow felt right. And she meant every word like it was a prayer.  
  
"Dumbass..." she couldn't help but add. But she delivered it not with her usual swagger, but with all the anxiety a lover would feel knowing that they might never see their partner again.

Shepard blinked twice, shocked. His mouth twitched to say something but his voice was snagged in his throat. Instead, he felt his eyes well up. He nods twice and bows his head for another hug.

He holds her tight in his arms again.

“I…love you too, Jack…I…” he whispered into her ear. She could hear him sniff and clear his throat. And she closes her eyes as she felt his body shiver in her arms.   

“I…wasn’t planning to break down right here. So…” he draws sharp breath. “So excuse me if I hold onto you for a little bit longer, because that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. And I’m afraid if I let go now, I just might cry like baby.”

And just like that, her anxiety popped like a balloon.

Then came the little waves of giggles. She was confused if she should really be reacting like that or not but she couldn't help it. She was more than happy to hold onto him for just a little longer. She caressed his firm back, and wished that this moment would last forever. 

“Okay. Duty calls.” he patted her on the back before letting go. He glanced towards her students, his eyes linger at them for a moment.

“Thanks again for not sending them straight to meat grinder.” she nod towards them.

“Yeah, I know they mean a lot to you. And if you think they’re more useful in providing barrier support, of course I’ll trust your call.” he turned towards her.

“These kids wanna see some action, I doubt that they’ll stay in support teams if they don’t do too well. Or they could request for a transfer. That’s what I’m afraid of.” she said.

“Hmmm.” Shepard ponders about that. “If they do, don’t try to stop them. You’re the teacher, just show them what they need to know so that they won’t get themselves killed out there. Got it?”

“Yes, Commander.” she said without a hint of sarcasm. She can be very serious if she wanted to.

“Well, take care, my boy scout.” she says affectionately, patting him on the shoulder, and lightly kissing him again. “You’ll write to me.” she said matter-of-factly. Her bravado had come back.

“You know I will, babe, you know I will.” Shepard said with a chuckle, and a hand caressing her cheek.

“Good, kick your ass if you don’t.” she said with a wink.

“This is goodbye, then…” he says with a sigh. The commander in him had taken over, and he gave her a confident nod of a soldier.

“Yeah…goodbye for now, Commander.” she said.

Since she’s Alliance now, she’s technically obliged to salute him, so she snapped him one. It was clumsily done but he returned one to her anyway.

 _“_ Maybe I’d make a good girl-scout after all, huh?”

He kissed her on the nose, which irritated her immensely, and she was sure her students were watching closely.

“Keep practicing, Corporal.”  He said with a smug look.

She takes a slow step backwards, then two. Her eyes not leaving Shepard, then she turns rather quickly to walk towards her students.

 _This is it._ Both of them thought.

 _He’s not done, he not done, he’s not done._ She repeats to herself.

“And Jackie?” she hears him calling out behind her.

_I knew it!_

She rolls her eyes and swings her head with a slight smirk. She immediately spots the camera icon on his Omni tool turned on.

 “I’m gonna be missing you a lot…” he began.

“So...you want me as a souvenir?” she finished for him, already giving him a nod of approval.

“I’ll treasure it forever…” he smiled while tapping to activate live view.

“Hope this helps with ‘morale’ support.” she chuckled.

She decided to wear an expression she knew he’d drool over later on, nothing fancy. Her makeup should do the trick for her.

The camera chimed once and the picture is saved.

A few shuttles approached overhead, the hum of their thrusters wound down to signal their descent.

They both looked at each other one last time and gave one another a knowing nod.

Her Omni-tool chimed later in the shuttle. It was an image attachment from Shepard.

She was glad that no one was looking at her corner, so she decided to catch a glimpse.

She couldn't help but grin like an idiot.

[ ](https://imgur.com/Z7vJZAP)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like the picture? You can find it in my deviantart.
> 
> https://stan94.deviantart.com/art/Heading-Downrange-735091847
> 
> Jack ported by Grummel87


	2. Wish You Were Here

Sent: November 25, 2186, Current Era, Normandy SR2

 

Message:  
From: John Shepard  
To: Jack

Dear Jack,

I miss you so much. Normandy feels so much like a prison ever since you left to join up with the kids for barrier support. I know that this war will leave no one unscathed, but I hope that most of these kids will get a chance at survival when they're not in the front lines. And I'm proud that you're there to make sure of that. You've come so far from the human weapon I met. Feels like years have passed since then. I never thought even in my wildest boy scout dreams that you will be doing what you’re doing now.

When I’m not busy in the “saving-the-galaxy” business. I find myself going down to your old spot in Engineering just to remember all the times you tried to push me away, you know, good old times :) (Smile) Call me creepy, but I sometimes prefer to sleep in your old bunk(it still creaks).I also found a model toy hidden beside a crate and I fancied that it was your idea. You know how much I love collecting them.

Obviously, I still feel that you should’ve kept close with me in Normandy. So that we can watch each other’s backs. And…of course keep each other warm at night, of course of course, call me selfish I don’t care, but that’s what I feel :)

I guess, this is the part where I tell you the sad news. Mordin died. Long story short, we cured the genophage, and witnessed a Thresher Maw killing a Reaper in the process, at least I hope it’s dead. He had to activate the cure personally but the device was rigged to explode if that happened. And I’m taking it harder than he would’ve. The guy saw it coming from miles away and was totally okay with it. He said: “It had to be me”. Wearing the most peaceful expression I’ve ever seen on his face, while explosions filled the air around us.

I just placed his name on the Memorial Wall, then I thought about you. God, I wish you’re here right now. I keep wondering what would have happened if things didn’t turn out…the way I made it. Could I have saved Mordin somehow? I don’t know, my brain is fried with all the horrible outcomes that I could possibly imagine would happen after today. I feel like that’s something you and I can delve into more later on. But for now, I need to go. Wrex is celebrating now. With Wrex, I’m a little more at ease that the krogans won’t tear the galaxy apart all over again.

I’ll keep writing to you as much as I can. Your letters make this fucking war a little less grimdark than it already is. I just wish you’d send more. It’s become like a drug to me, to tell you the truth. Not even the amount of cigarettes Mr. Illusive smokes would be enough to calm my nerves, but one hit from you and I feel like taking out the entire Cerberus army all by myself.

I love you so much, stay safe and do your best to go easy on your biotics.

John

[](https://imgur.com/OOUyT57)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits:  
> Body Bags: https://just-jasper.deviantart.com  
> Jack: https://melllin.deviantart.com  
> Shepard: https://sonyume.deviantart.com


	3. See you soon, John

Sent: December 7, 2186, Current Era, Palaven

Message:  
From: Jack  
To: John Shepard

Guess what?

The fucking Krogan cavalry has arrived that’s what! And I’ve been having the pleasure of fighting alongside a platoon of ‘em. They’re no Grunt, but with some of the kids backing them up, and me behind them or in front, whatever, we make a good team.

Look, before I get any further I’m really, REALLY SORRY I didn’t reply sooner. I mean it. And don’t tell me not to be sorry ALRIGHT? I just kept deleting everything. 5 times now. None of it felt right. I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or something so I promised myself this would be the last.

I’ve been seeing a lot of action on the northern Dermenes region. Lots of trees and mountains up here. The Reapers have left it mostly untouched. Would’ve been a sweet place to go camping if it weren’t for all the Marauder packs prowling the woods. I heard that's what people back on Earth do for fun in places like this. Weather's much cooler than the rest of Palaven to.

So this Krogan platoon I mentioned, they come from a clan that I can’t even pronounce. They didn't like having biotics attached with them, at first. Then the seeker swarms showed up, boy were they glad to have someone who just happened to be the one keeping them from our little suicide squad. Bastards got bigger with their Reaper upgrades. Good news is they're easier to shoot at now, bad news is they shoot back. Krogans can shrug off their toxin rounds so long as the drones don't concentrate their fire. And if they do, well, my boys and girls will bring out what we like to call an umbrella. The word rain started to take on a different meaning every time they swarm the sky.

I know you're worried about my biotics turning my brain to paste, but don't worry. I learned that keeping my students alive has a lot more to do in making sure they don't land in a situation where I have to use my powers in the first place. I know I must've fucked up somewhere if that's their only chance. And I've fucked up a little. Milton Wood, tall, pale, did well in my class. Always has his girlfriend around to pass on whatever I teach, since she wasn't as sharp. We were out on a recovery mission through a particularly well preserved forest. The terrain is rugged so we were all on foot. He was guarding some of the Krogan heavies, who were covering our approach to the rally point. I was at the rear making sure the coast was clear. I must've missed them, because suddenly Mil is taking fire from the rear. Marauders hiding up on the trees concentrate fire on him, his shield pops. I biotically flew down there, pulled them down from their hidey spots, the Krogans finished them off with their Typhoon guns. Mil got his head hurt real bad. He can't talk right now. Marauders tried to take him out with a head shot but his shield and a tough helmet saved his life. I always tell the kids to keep a basic shield up at all times, even when they have to take a shit. ESPECIALLY that.

He'll live, but his jaw and throat got messed up. It would take some more weeks for the docs to replace his tounge and mend his throat. His girlfriend is with him at the infirmary watching him recover.

There's been a few more close calls before that but luckily. No, not luckily, their asses got saved because of me. Course, I have you to thank for not encouraging them to head to the front. After that ambush, we still had to fight our way to the objective. I won't say what we found since the Turian hierarchy thought it's too important to be spread around. Those idiots could've just fetched their own shit if it's that important. The censors will scrub it out if I tried talking here, so I'll just leave it be for now.

 

So, curing the genophage. Damn. Heavy topic. I saw the reports come in days ago, and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing for a sec. Then your face shows up on the vid. On one hand, I have to thank you for bringing the Krogans on board. Else Palaven would have a lot more husks marching around. Seems like it's a good thing now, but I think I understand why you'd be worried about what MIGHT happen once this war's over. But like you said, you can rest easier knowing your brother Wrex is at the top. I only know him based on what you and your crew know and countless other debates in extranet forums. I'm not the best person to be giving predictions about this but I think so long as Wrex and Eve are calling the shots, I think the Krogans won't be tearing the galaxy a new asshole anytime soon. And if or when that happens, let another another guy, another Commander Shepard deal with it. WE on the other hand have a lot of catching up to do.

Mordin. I'm sorry he's gone. Did you recover his body at least? I don't know what else to say about that, at least not in writing. Sorry. I think it's better if we talk, face to face. Well, in vidcomm that is.

I'm down for some RNR, and I could head to the nearest spaceport. Let's set up a chat. I'm getting tired of writing everything down for fucksake. I wanna see your face. And that stupid smile of yours. Fuck. Yeah… I miss you to. Just give me a schedule.

Oh, and they still kept my bunk down there in Engineering? I loved that. Nice and sturdy. And sorry to crush your fantasy but I didn't put that toy down there. That sounds more like something Tali would do. You know as well as I how crazy she was for you back then. Maybe she still is, but she knows I'm on a whole 'nother level of Vorcha shit crazy. Just kidding. Plus she collects some playthings herself, I'm sure you saw some sitting on her console everytime you chat with her. So yeah, definitely her. Wanna bet?

Be patient my boy, once I make sure Milton is patched up and everyone is accounted for, I'll see if Captain Rickson would agree to give me a few days off-world. Let's talk about it on vidcomm.

I'm gonna catch some shut-eye after I write this. Hope that kid ain't messing with your dreams anymore. I would've strangled the little shit till his eyes pop out if it were me fresh outta Pragia.

Sleep well, big guy.

It's Jennifer Henderson Cash now. Liara told me. It's about time, I say.

I still want you to call me Jack though, just for us.

See you soon.

[](https://imgur.com/gOTvcPe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits for XNALARA models:  
> Jack: https://padme4000.deviantart.com  
> Props: https://just-jasper.deviantart.com
> 
> Photo reference from this Photograph of Mr. Eugene Sledge:  
> http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/singleitem/collection/ebsledge/id/145/rec/6


End file.
